ALMOST TIME

Almost time to say good bye to the year 2008..WOW!!!..Lord, what do you have prepared for me in the year to come? Help me accept the things I can not change and give me wisdom when accepting things I can not change.Help me remember life is a matter of balance when things seem out of control.

Christmas 2008

Well almost Christmas Day. Actually in about 15 minutes. Yes I am up late.Allergy meds are keeping me awake. I want to share with you 10 things i am truly grateful for in the yr 2008..
So what about this Christmas is different from others. Well I'll give you 10 things,here goes..

1- Still on a tight budget, but surviving- PRAISE GOD..kc lost yet another job this summer (economy cut backs)..the more we lose the more we gain..i have started working (in august), substitute teacher..LOVE IT!!..many have helped thru gifts of food,borrowing a car,money and prayer..thank you lord for them all..we are able to buy our kids Christmas presents this year and it feels good..they are not getting alot but they are getting enough..my kids have said that all they ever want for their birthdays' or Christmas' is for us to remain a family..i love my kids..

2-Grand daddy still waiting for Chris to come home (and he will - in about 13 years)..i miss Chris..my kids are still missing Chris . we often wonder when will they realize that they are not the only ones that had their life turned upside down..this has been a difficult year for me ,kc,stef and Nicholas for practicing -forgiveness-..we have to forgive him,her and extended family.BUT god's grace is sufficient enough .. when we can't look at them anymore and when we don't want to hear the name chris anymore , he opens our eyes and lifts our heads and reminds us all 4 that he is suffering with us and that he is the mighty mender of relationships.AND he is in the process of mending..

3-missing my mother in laws cooking..BUT kc is keepin' it real..he can take corn,chicken and cheese and make a master peice..he's the bomb and he has the apron to prove it..lol..

4-been to just as many funerals as weddings..what's up with that!!!..SMILE ONE MONTH,CRY THE NEXT..

5-no traffic tickets this year!!PRAISE GOD...oh wait a minute, yes i did get one- expired inspection..oh well can't have it all...but to give a honest nuMber 5, i have stopped emailing 3 people who stress me out..what a freeing feeling..TRY IT...i decide it was good for me not to let these 3 ladies suffocate my growth and i released them from "my contacts"..one was added back a month ago but god said it was time, even tho i DID NOT WANT IT TO BE SO ,HE SPOKE !!!..I LISTENED!!!

6-our daughter has had a boyfriend since February and we have had to adjust to the change, and to be honest it's not that bad..we love her and trust her and she is doing well and she keeps the communication line wide open..Thank you lord..

7-we have a new (USED , BUT NEW TO US) car, couldn't afford the other one AND this one doesn't have a payment..

8-built a ramp for the house so Jamie can visit..yay..thanks yogi!!!
9-have 2 of the best pets ever..ruby(chi wa wa-spelling is wrong but you know what i'm trying to say) and tonka (st bernard/akita mix)
10-well to sum up this year i have to say it has been a trying one and one of uncertainty ,one of great patience and obedience that not only i had to practice but my husband and children had to practice as well. it was one of great emotional stress and heartache for my kids that i could not FIX..I am hopeful God is pleased with my behavior this year. without him as my foundation i would have ,could have, should have ....

MANY TIMES I SAW ONE SET OF FOOTPRINTS AND I ASKED YOU WHY... AND YOU SAID BECAUSE I WAS CARRYING YOU..

Be patient , Win control over yourself!!!

Be patient,Win control over yoursel.Yes, well easier said than done huh? This I know first hand. I have for some years been feeling so BLAH, like something was missing. Last night was the first night in many years that the light bulb flickered on. As I was sitting home , alone (rarely heard of ) , I realized "I'M GONNA BE OK". I've been reading Proverbs this week. WOW, what a blessing. I see myself in so much of the Proverbs. As I read thru, this time with an open mind , I realize that I am in need of repair. Not my finances,not my marriage , not realtionships, BUT ME!!.Let me explain in my language refered to as the ever more popular "FRANKLINESE", if you aint got no $ won't be no troubles. Just threw that in here for a good laugh.The slack economy is hitting some of our friends now and I am seeing for the first time, wow-they do have flaws. You know how some put up the act!!Yea, we have Friends and family like that and I am sure you do too. Proverbs 17:17 sums up our role as a Friend- simply written-Friends always show their love . What are brothers (body of a Christ) for if not to share trouble. KEY PHRASE- SHARE TROUBLE. I am not saying take on their debt, just love them and help them out. Situations have a season. Some last longer than others, but that's ok. I am so thankful for the ones who have helped me and KC along the way . I dare not say we are out of the woods but I feel the warmth form the light at the end of the tunnel, if that makes sense. We have been judged harshly ,some have shared their opinions openly and without any common sense and some have been down right mean and judgmental, BUT my hope was for KC and I to remain faithful and God .I rest in Proverbs 17:5 If you mock those less fortunate you insult the GOD who made them. I believe God may have found favor with us in this season of our lives because we are both content now, I feel it. We have accepted the season we are in.We don't have the things , money and tangibles that most everyone has , heck even the food that some have in their pantry ,but -but -but, I have come to my senses and seen that we have a strong foundation and our marriage is good and our kids are a blessing and fun to raise.

And speaking of marriage,over the past years I have heard many married women complain about their husbands, they deceive their husbands,keep secrets, manipulate, they use sex to get what they want with their husbands ,trick their husbands ,lie to their husbands,use their kids against their husband and say hurtful things to and about their husbands . As far as their kids I have seen women use their kids as trophies to show the "ones back home" what THEY have done. Even Face book has been used as a tool to communicate with "their crush" or old classmates for flirting purposes. Face book has also been used as a tool to be boastful about "see what I have". Oh be careful with all communications, you can and will be found out!! That's all I'll say about that. I have seen many women and children hurt by abuse in their families over the years and nobody deserves any form of abuse, I know first hand, I have had it all in my life and it's no walk in the park. Ladies don't push your husbands!! Communicate!! Some men are just down right sick and need help , but you ladies that are holding back,pretending,playing games and being deceitful should be ashamed of yourself. I have seen many women pretend to be happy over the years and I have seen many men try so hard to wow their wife to end up being rejected. I say all this to say that I am truly thankful for my relationship with my husband and my kids. I am also very thankful that these ladies have all shown up in my life. Some have faith in God and listening to them talk has been so uplifting, some have Sunday morning faith and we all know how far that will get you and some have faith in them self. Enough about that cause as some of you read you are already planning an attack on what I've written.

I go back to my first blog PROVERBS WANNA BE...God please continue to use me as the vessel you created me to be and grow me in your word and restore realtionships .I pray I stay in check and don't become self-centered. For the ones reading this , just know that I am not at all praising JUDY . God started off with a whispered warning in my ear, then HE firmly spoke to me,then HE gave me another chance and I shut HIM out ,then I COULDN'T HEAR HIM SPEAK TO ME . Don't get caught up in "your" ministry ,"your "kids,"your" life,"your" vanity,"your" complaints , "your" sorrows because they are not yours , they are all HIS .At any given time any of these things or people can be taken away from you .

Yes, this has been a pretty random blog entry but hey that's who I am!! I am uniquely and wonderfully made in HIS image.I do hope you have enjoyed reading more about me and my thoughts. It is hard to open up to a dark world "internet" and speak what's on my mind but I am encouraged be God's word and my time with HIM alone is precious to me so I fear only Him and pray the rest works out for the good I intend. Thanks..

ABOUT MY KC

today is my birthday and i am waiting for my husband to get home so we can start my date..i just want to write a little snipit on my sweet husband , KC..wow, where do I start..Sometimes I wish I could be like him in a sense of discernment. There are so many people he doesn't understand and it's hard for him to like those people and yet those people have no clue. I can honestly say he loves them, but doesn't like them.. What a quality to posses.. I believe him when he says that outside of his realtionship with Christ, we are his world. The kids adore him and they talk to him about so many random things. He keeps a grip on it too, especially when our teenager talks about her boyfriend.AARRGGHH...He works 2 jobs to keep us fed and the bills paid . We never get ahead, just make it. That bothers him but we are playing the cards dealt to us..Never in 16 years has he put his foot down and demanded I get a job, I have had plenty but he has always wanted me to BE AVAILABLE for the kids while they are in school. I am now a substitute teacher and lovin' it by the way..My KC has such an amazing voice. What a talent he has been blessed with. . I could listen to him sing all day..He can fix anything , we don't have to call for a handy man and he is so stronglike a bull, but yet gentle as a teddy bear. He is definitely my hero.This has been a random blog today, BUT SOMETIMES A GIRL JUST NEEDS TO WRITE ABOUT HER HERO..

POWER IN WORDS

THERE IS GREAT POWER IN WORDS WE SPEAK. NO NEWS TO US RIGHT? THE PEOPLE WE IMPACT (for good or bad).. TODAY I HAVE MADE MYSELF A PROMISE TO PURPOSELY PUT FORTH THE EFFORT IN USING ALL MY WORDS TO SPEAK LIFE ,HOPE AND LIGHT INTO OTHERS AS THE HOLY SPIRIT GUIDES ME . OUR WORDS ARE A GIFT FROM GOD. HE HAS ENTRUSTED US WITH WORDS. WORDS ARE THE MOST POWERFUL FORCES IN THE UNIVERSE & AMAZINGLY ENOUGH GOD HAS ENTRUSTED THEM TO YOU & ME. HOW WELL WILL WE USE THIS POWERFUL GIFT FROM GOD? WILL THEY BE USED TO ENCOURAGE THE DISCOURAGED? WILL THEY BRING LIGHT TO DARKNESS?
LORD, HELP ME USE MY WORDS TO BLESS AND HELP, NOT CURSE, TO BUILD UP, NOT TEAR DOWN, TO HEAL ,NOT TO HURT. BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, MAY THE WORDS OF MY MOUTH BE PLEASING TO YOUR EAR AND BEAUTIFUL TO YOUR SIGHT.LET MY HEARTS DESIRE FOR OTHERS BE THE SAME DESIRE AS YOURS. HELP ME LORD AS I CONTINUE TO TRY AND LOVE ME WHEN I FAIL .

FOR THOSE WHO ARE UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL, RIGHT OUT OF THE SHOOT

SSSHH..BE QUIET,BE STILL..FEEL THAT???
THE QUIET CONFIDENCE THAT GOD IS IN CONTROL IS A MARK OF MATURITY.QUIETLY BREATH THE CALMNESS AND PEACEFULNESS OF HIS SOVEREIGNTY INTO YOUR BEING. FEELS REFRESHING DOESN'T IT?.THIS IS WHAT I DO A COUPLE OF TIMES DURING THE DAY .THE NEWNESS OF SCHOOL STARTING,SERVING IN A MINISTRY THAT I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD,WAITING EVER SO PATIENTLY FOR KC TO HAVE ONLY ONE JOB, DAUGHTER "GOING OUT" WITH SOMEONE SHE VIEWS AS "THE ONE", RECENTLY LEARNING THAT A DEAR SWEET ENCOURAGER HAS GONE TO BE WITH THE LORD, STILL PRACTICING THE "LOVE THEM WHERE THEY ARE" BLOG..WOW , I JUST TAKE INTO MY VERY BEING A BREATH OF HIS LOVE , FORGIVENESS, MERCY AND GRACE TO CARRY ME ON THRU THE DAY AND I AM SO REJUVENATED. TIMES OF FEELING SO FRUSTRATED WITH OTHERS AND "THEIR OBVIOUS FLAWS" IS NOT AS HARD FOR ME TO ACCEPT NOW-A-DAYS. I JUST TRY TO SEE THEM AS CHRIST SEES THEM. I KNOW HE GREW ANGRY, BUT IT WAS A RIGHTEOUS ANGER. WAS MINE, I ASKED MYSELF!!!????..WELL PROBABLY NOT,BUT I HAVE REALIZED THAT AS I LIVE AND ACCUMULATE MORE "HATS TO WEAR" I AM STILL THAT SAME OUTSPOKEN PERSON WITH A LOT TO SAY BUT THERE IS A GREATER EFFORT ON MY PART TO LOVE OTHERS IN CHRIST LIKENESS. I LOVE LIVING AND I LOVE LIFE AND YES I HAVE BEEN ATTACKED BECAUSE I AM SO -UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL- & -MISUNDERSTOOD--. I HAVE BEEN DEPRESSED AND DISCOURAGED QUITE A BIT BY OTHERS. GETTING TO KNOW PEOPLE SEEMS TO HAVE A DEEPER DIRECTION THAN JUST GETTING TO KNOW THEM.. MY POINT IS THIS, WHILE WEARING MANY HATS AS WE ALL DO,REMEMBER TO LOVE PEOPLE THAT COME ALONG UNDER THE BRIM OF THOSE HATS.. I STILL GET VERY EXCITED WHEN I MEET NEW PEOPLE.SO FOR ALL THOSE THAT ARE LIKE ME AND JUST CAN'T SEEM TO FORGET THE HURTFUL THINGS OTHERS SAY JUST KNOW GOD IS BIGGER THAN THEM ..I HEARD THIS SAYING A WHILE AGO AND I SHARE IT WITH OTHERS -DON'T TELL GOD HOW BIG YOUR PROBLEM IS, TELL YOUR PROBLEM HOW BIG YOUR GOD IS......

WELCOMING PEOPLE

This blog entry may hurt some feelings, but hear me out or close the blog and never come back to it again. That's the power of choice. Everyday there are needs that parade in front of us. Some we see while others we are aware of . Hebrews 13:2 Remember to welcome people, you may never know how many angels you welcome .Jesus says if we love one another the right way, which is by his example, well loving others will be natural. True compassion is a direct reflection of our relationship with Jesus Christ. It's not about religion, it's about relationship.A healthy relationship with Jesus Christ is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. 1 John 4:20 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. Hey that's Gods word , not mine. I know I am guilty just like you . 1 John 4:20 If you don't love the very ones you know, how can you love those that you don't?
When the Jewish lawyer asked Jesus what he should do to inherit eternal life Jesus told him 2 things...1-Love God completely. Well me being the "chief of sinners", I was thrown back a few feet. There are people in my very family that I wouldn't give the time of day. You have people like that in your families, your work place, your church,your neighborhood too , just like me . You know who they are. 2-Love your neighbor as yourself. WHAT!!!!!.Jesus come on, you know how she/he treats her husband/wife, you know how she/he treats the kids, come on love them as I would myself. He says, "YES, LOVE HER/HIM AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF, DON'T BE THE LEVITE". Well I must say, I am not the most inconsiderate , non compassionate person I know but I have walked by someone in need. Yes I have. I didn't know how to help, didn't know what to say.Sometimes I just wanted to say to someone ,well you brought it on yourself. Where's the love of Jesus Christ in that nasty attitude? O r here's a good one, well I remember when I was in need and where was she/he?. WHEW, I need to calm down. How can I even think about having true worship with the one I trust with my salvation ....BREAK- PAUSE Oh wait, yes I remember, I am of sinful nature and a I serve a forgiving God--- that's how.How many people have you seen just lying there, beat up and down, knowing the bandits of life have attacked them with no warning and really no apparent reason? Of all people, the Levite and the priest (THE CHURCHED!!!!)were returning from their temple duties, their worship time , their time of praise when they saw the beat down man. What's the point of this parable? The point- Don't pass someone in need. Whether emotional need,physical need,financial need. Yes use discernment, by all means do that, otherwise your efforts are just your efforts. Seek out how to help people.Get with someone and ask them if you are not sure on how to fill a need. We all have choices to make. We have been granted choices. We have a choice to make every time we are confronted with a need , every time we know of a need. We all know at least one person who is in need somehow. Read 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ..The way we love one another should be a living illustration of God's Love. Helping others out does take our energy and time of which we are given by God. Gods power will bring the energy you need .Gods power will give you the time you think you don't have. Listening to someone can be exhausting, I know this first hand, I have been on both ends of the spectrum . I have been told to my face that I drained someone of their spirit. This lady actually had a nap after talking to me. My question here is , Why did you call me?.There is a huge difference between probing and praying.Anyway no hard feelings, I know that some try to help out the best way they know how. My family was in despair not too long ago. I stood firm in my faith , I cried, I got mad, I was hurt by others, but you know what- I was so blessed by a few and that was the love of Christ that my kids saw,that I saw, that my husband saw. Those few were our angels . God knew we needed comforting, so HE comforted us. Many knew our pain, our need ,but like the Levite and the priest, they bolted, they made a choice to pass us by. No I didn't know their circumstance they had but don't try to pick apart what the point is here . Very simply-IF you can help others, DO IT.My family often remember those who God sent our way to show us His love and mercy and grace and boy the timing was dead on. God has delivered my family from a difficult circumstance . Praise Jesus. God held us close in our time of chaos. What gentleness and peace we remember God showed us thru our storm. He still remains the same.
As always with any blog entry I share ,I feel that many just need to read from a real life person. Some of you know me personally and some only have seen me and some may never meet me , but I do hope what I write will be a blessing to many. May God bless you today.

love people where they are

wow..i was stumped for words today in a situation i wasn't ready for ..the moment of truth was to be practiced and displayed.what do i do?how do i behave?everything i have been studying in gods word seemed to go thru my thought process like a locomotive. the discipline i needed to keep quiet.oh so hard the first couple of minutes.my heart was racing.all of a sudden i heard the thunder outside and i was reminded of how Jesus washed Judas' feet.you know he did that even knowing Judas' heart.so why can't i love someone that has everything figured out,someone that is so determined to "have it her way",someone selfish and picking apart the lives of her children?..but wait , hear me out , she is also someone confused about gods word,someone hurting ,someone who needs to know the love of Jesus.ever watched someone headed for disaster, that just came out of a disaster ? you just wanted to shake them?.what in the world could they possibly be thinking?what a slap on the face when i remembered how Jesus washed the feet of Judas.Judas ,full of deceit and Jesus -all knowing ..who am i that i can't love someone who is hard to love ?who am i that can't get this thing together to fulfill his purpose he has created me for?i am to be an example of his servant hood.i must love like Jesus did.as Jesus hung on that cross looking like a raw piece of meet, his word says,before his dissension to heaven he said to forgive them ,they know not what they do,love one another.. ever been in a situation like this.. with everything in me i would have loved to just deliver a quick drop kick and then finish it off with a blow to the jaw, but talk about hypocrisy..so instead of doing what i wanted to do so bad i chose to do what i have been commanded to do .yes, the holy spirit took over today.praise Jesus for the holy spirit that lives in me.you all know someone who -IF YOU COULD , YOU WOULD...as i read my scripture daily and feed off of his word i am becoming more free to do his will and let others see and feel my lord Jesus thru my words and actions. now don't misunderstand the point here , don't think of me as a ticking time bomb.well you could if you wanted to but that would be a lie.instead get the point of what I'm trying to say here, my love for my lord is so precious to me and as the struggles come and go, i pray that he will equip me with the strength needed to love the unlovable.
my desire is be an encouragement for readers.love people where they are..